Being an adult

Have you thought what being an adult actually means? well...apart from a lot of freedom, which again is how you see it (but that's something for a different blog), ability to earn money, make you own decisions or just learning to be more tolerant.

Scene one: two kids get into a fight, it gets nasty with hair pulling (did I say girls :))..they end up saying katti!!!! Years later they are still friend they love each other and hearts are clean, without a trace of bitterness.

Scene two: Two adults get into an argument, things again get nasty they stop after sometime. Some just walk different ways and never talk again, some sought it out, but they can never forget things, some say they have forgotten but forgiveness is far far away. Hearts are hurt and the hurt remains. It has something to do with the adult heart, it somehow does not regenerate the love section as fast as we would want it to.
Good things I often feel are forgotten easily, whereas bad sticks, sticks like a leach. You don't even know those memories are there till you do a little bit of soul searching. And in the end we say that life has taught us to be tolerant, when all it has taught us is to go on with life, with a mask on. The mask may not necessarily be there to hide you as a person but may be there to protect you, it may be your mechanism of protection.

Time and again I have been told that I am afraid of loosing friends and hence I do not convey my true feelings to them. Sometimes I agree , I am willing to bend backwards to not hurt a friend. A gesture that is always mistaken for all different kinds of things. But most of the times, my ability to suppress my feeling and to go on as if nothing has happened, is part of the person I am. I am not trying or not even thinking of loosing or making or keeping friends. At that point all I am thinking is of not hurting the other person, not saying hurt full things, because remember...whatever we say, bad words and bad actions are never washed off . Maybe deep down I am protecting myself from the misery of having a heavy conscience, one that has the impressions of confrontations severed relations and sour friendships. And in this endeavor silence is my weapon, silence of heart and mind and tongue...it has made me strong.

You can hear the footsteps of God when silence reigns in the mind. ~Sri Sathya Sai Baba

Silence is not merely an absence of noise, Real Silence begins when a reasonable being withdraws from the noise in order to find peace and order in his inner sanctuary. ~Peter Minard

and for me this silence comes from the silence of heart , from the ability to forgive and take in everything, good or bad positively, from conquering things with love.....everything responds to it.